Give yourself permission (to find your soul)

I have been so, so lapse on my writing for some time. I’m not quite sure why, but it’s definitely lovely to be sat back in front of the laptop again with so end game, no work related activity to complete, other than to share some thoughts and open up. We’re having this seemingly endless spell of sunny weather and I’m sat on our big dining table watching the Stoke Newington world go by as the sun goes down. It’s gorgeous.

Where I’m at these days: Well, Ruben and I obviously moved! We both love our new house. The journey to work is slightly longer- but that’s ok. It’s well worth it to have extra space, and be in a beautiful “village like” area. It’s not as hip as Dalston as I said before and I say this with a huge “phew”. I’m not hip! I just love the cosy byt anything goes nature of Stokie though. I can’t wait to properly attend the markets one weekend and just hang out in Clissold Park!

Workwise, well, I handed my notice in about 2 weeks ago. I’ve been working for the NHS for just over 2 years as an Occupational Therapist and I’ve just got more and more anxious in the acute hospital environment. I’m over the critical culture I feel the NHS has, and I’m looking to do agency or locum and just find my feet in a few other areas before deciding on the longer term path.  I’ve now got a month to go (it was a 6 week notice period), so really, the count down is on! I feel honestly that the NHS has derided my confidence, and I’m hoping with all hope that these new ventures lead me to building some of that back up!

And with regards to this new work and life related vigour, I’m all about Gary Vaynerchuk right now ( Whilst his speaking and motivational messages were not the direct catalyst for me handing in my notice, the video link I’m attaching here sums up exactly how I’m feeling right now about- well about everything! Please listen to it if you’re feeling low, about anything. He’s too bloody right- tomorrow isn’t promised for any of us and it’s time to take action if you can:

You see, here is the trap I was making for myself: I’m 36, I can’t leave! I need to stay for the benefits, like the maternity pay! I also let people within the environment reduce my confidence. The truth is the longer I stayed with the a job or environment that wasn’t right for me, the worse I was feeling. And part of me couldn’t believe I was feeling like this at 36, there was a bit of shame attached to it too.  The more I believed the negative of “what choice do I have” the more desperate and down I became. I’m definitely feeling better now. Less disempowered and more empowered with my choices.  Nervous but hopeful. Tonight, I’ve sat down, finally finished the CV and sent it off to a few agencies.

I’ve realised that sure I’m 36, but that’s still pretty young! And regardless of any age, we have to be happy! And no one deserves to stay in an environment that makes them feel miserable, where people take advantage of them.

So! Some beautiful things I’m totally recommending you look into (both London focused and online):

1)The crystal channelling workshops at Buddha on a Bicycle in Covent Garden, £25 for 2 hours with a small group of other women (none posted yet for July) Roberta Boyce is something extraordinary and really has a gift. You’ll see what I mean if you go! Crystal channelling might sound out there, but is nothing more than focusing on the most inner part of yourself: your soul essence. The part you might attribute to god, to a higher power, to the universe. Whatever you name it, giving it focus is part of self love and self healing. This was a beautiful event and I really recommend this for anyone. I plan to go once monthly as each month there is a different topic. So you know, you are invited to speak in front of the group, but it’s not as scary as it sounds! After a while you forget/don’t care that anyone else is listening!

2)Gary Vanerchuk podcasts. The content we consume is so so important. Some of it focuses on entrepreneurship, but I still find a lot of it interesting and relatable and at the moment am just a huge fan girl on anything the man says! It’s clear he’s got to where he is because he knows what he’s talking about and who he is. He’s also not been afraid to work hard for his dreams and talks a lot about the fear of failure holding us back. I listen on my phone or you can access the podcasts here :

3) Yoga. This is something I tried in my 20’s and found the “stillness” aspect of it too difficult to achieve. I think at the time I wanted movement and action and had too much energy in my head and mind to manage it! I’m currently enrolled in a introductory offer at Yoga Home in Stoke Newington. Whilst it isn’t the cheapest yoga offer you can get, it’s literally 3 minutes from my house! And I’m having fun trying all sorts of yoga and realising how amazingly hard and inspiring it is! Plus the breath and focusing on mindfulness obviously declutters your mind and almost reprogrammes you. I think for someone feeling very very low, this might be too intense, but for someone coming up from negative thinking and a low period, it has been a blessing

Furthermore, I’ve also been going to my friends Sunday “Weekend Warrior” yoga sessions which are just £5 a class and super brilliant for all levels, including beginners. if you can get to Clerkenwell for 12.15pm on a Sunday i really recommend them Who knew that the puppydog pose could be so intense?! I love challenging myself with these sessions!


3) Emails from These have really made me smile! Sign up for pearls of wisdom from the Universe, direct to your inbox! See the photo below for an example of what I mean. They’ve really cheered me up!

4) Access the website for subscription to  “Five good things”. This is a weekly email which, you’ve guessed it, details 5 lovely things to brighten up your week, and for me balances out the negativity of the news and the small hum drum details which bog us down and serves to lift your spirits! I love this idea so much- I’ve recently unsubscribed from a lot of spam, so that my inbox can send me little treats such as this one!

5) The Chap Olympiad! I don’t think I’ve been back since 2014. It’s on every July in Bedfordshire Square (which is just glorious) in central London and is a celebration of pure English eccentricity. If you want to see the smartest looking people (this is an understatement) look no further, and if you want to laugh and delight at literally the silliest things, here’s the place! I loved this event, and have tried to go every year since but one thing or another has stopped me. This weekend I saw an email come through regarding help required and it therefore transpires I’ll be there on the 14 July in my finery! Check here for tickets! Come on!

Just one of my hilarious emails from


If you are feeling in anyway in a place of shift, I wish you all the best with it. It’s a cliché but you’re not running out of time and it’s never too late.

Happy Sunday all xx


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